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Detours

by Home Ties

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1.
Monochrome 04:49
I'm not scared to die anymore, a simple statement that I shouldn't have to say at this age, but it's a true statement as death reduces time in a secluded state. Although I don't wish to invest my ideas in hopelessness, I feel as if they've been wasted, as if they're turning the handle on a locked door that needs a key, but that key does not exist, why do I feel this hopeless? I shouldn't feel this way at this young age, I have a whole life to rot in my grave. I shouldn't feel this way at this young age, I've spent my whole life turning in my grave. Staying bitter about all of my failures, I won't fail this time. I always said I'd never let myself get like this, it's breaking me to the core. I've always felt as if I've been put second best to the ones who I despise. I can't keep this hole in my chest I always feel the guilt for never being there For myself when I needed me the most I've lost all love, my life is monochrome. I've lost all love, my life is monochrome, and when I find myself I will find my home. I've found sadness in this state, and what if a life of no love awaits? I'm not afraid to say that i can't go on, I can't go on feeling this way. I hate my life and all around me is bleak. Am I less of a man if I admit I'm weak? Because I feel sick, I'm tired and bored of my routine and all my fucking flaws. I always said I'd never let myself get like this, it's breaking me to the core. I've always felt as if I've been put second best to the ones who I despise. I can't keep this hole in my chest I always feel the guilt for never being there, For myself when I needed me the most I've lost all love, and my life is monochrome. I've lost all love, my life is monochrome, i've lost all love, my life is monochrome I've lost all love, I've lost all love, I've lost all love My life is monochrome. When I find myself, I will find my home When I find myself, I will find my home
2.
Southlakes 03:13
Our lives will never be the peaceful dream that we were told that it would be Our youth is bound to fade away, we'll see the horrors of this world someday. Believe in me. I remember the things I thought would never change I always thought my loved ones would never pass away I thought I would be content and that'd always stay the same. I never thought that I would have to say I feel like this, fuck. But I feel like this, I'm not ready to accept that my life may be nothing more than a waste of breath. I wish that I could go back to a time Where things were simpler I count the days to the true start of my life, to responsibility I remember the things I thought would never change I always thought my loved ones would never pass away I thought I would be content and that'd always stay the same. I never thought that I would have to say I feel like this I must ask am I ready? For responsibility I'm not ready to accept that my life may be nothing more than a waste of breath Just a waste of breath. I'll leave this all behind, I'll accept this frame of mind I'll let go of my past that haunts me But still fills me with sadness When i think about the way I could of lived the last 10 years again Why do I feel, so different, why do I feel, disconnected. I remember the things I thought would never change I always thought my loved ones would never pass away I thought I would be content and that'd always stay the same. I never thought that I would have to say I feel like this Why do i feel, so different, why do I feel, disconnected.
3.
Astray 04:18
This part of my life is about achieving everything I set out to achieve I know, that at times I have felt like I could be influenced far too easily. All the years I spent looking for happiness, and a group to belong too It all means nothing and now I'm a shadow of the man I used to be But I have found, such things. Positivity, in my life has been outweighed by sadness but is slowly, growing. And this was the main thing I set out to achieve I have found a positive state for the first time in my life I'm proud of myself and the fact that I can say that I'm content with everything I've done this year, things are staying bright in summertime And for once, the future in my eyes, is looking just fine. Thank you, thank you whoever has helped me Even at my worst I remember the ones who made me who I am Who made me a better man. When I am beaten by my mind I remember the things that I have seen I have every right to be sad but why should I let that be? Why should I let that be? I have every right to feel like this, and I'll do that if I want to. But why should I plague my waking hours with constant sadness. When I'm better than this, I'm better than this, Should I waste away, forget my dreams and die Or should I make a life of them? I know if I hold on and stay in this positive state My life won't be forgotten You're better than this, I'm better than this We're better than this.
4.
Oversleep 03:41
Waking up to grey skies, as mornings pass and I find myself in this place, alone. Waking up, I still feel the same, so many hearts beating but mine is out of place. I wonder if, I'll leave this place someday, or if I'll die here, in solitude. But what if we can change and find peace in the dark But what if I can find someone to love? This place isn't the be all and end all of our lives, this isn't the end. This isn't the end of our lives. We may die alone, Love is blind And may never find home I want you to know It's okay to die alone I want you to know. Waking up, I still feel the same, so many hearts beating but mine is out of place. I wonder if, I'll leave this place someday, or if I'll die here, in solitude. Will I die here? Will I live here just to die on my own, all alone. I can admit that I am scared of the world outside before me I know I need to beat the fear inside of me To find my way through life and say I've not failed To find someone who feels just like me. Someone who feels like me.

credits

released August 8, 2013

Recorded by Mike Bennett of Mike Bennett Productions

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HOME TIES Manchester, UK

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